My 4-month-old daughter cries each time I lay her down. I’m exhausted. Do you have any ideas on what might be wrong and how to help her? A.C.

Dear A.C.: Assuming that your baby is eating well, wetting and messing her diapers, and growing normally there is nothing “wrong with her.” Babies are totally self-centered. As far as your daughter is concerned, the entire world revolves around her, including you. She feels more comfortable and secure in your arms and so she would prefer to be there 24 hours a day. Unfortunately, this will exhaust you very quickly and prevent you from caring for your own needs. You can help her and yourself by setting limits on when the two of you will interact. She will test your willingness to do so, but will quickly accept them, provided that you are consistent in your actions. When you lie her down at night or at naptime it is important that you not pick her up again if she cries. No baby has died or suffered permanent damage from crying. She may cry for hours the first time you lie her down, but she will cry for a shorter time the next and within a few attempts she will recognize that her efforts are not going to bring about the desired result and she will go to sleep quietly and peacefully. While it is difficult to listen to your baby cry, the longer you avoid taking control of the situation the harder it will become. Better to let her know that you make the rules when she is four months old than when she is sixteen and able to drive a car. -Dr. Peterson